(As told by Ayden's Mom Leasa)
Dave and I were married in April, 2002. We bought and moved into a little (744 sq. ft.) house in the city of Saginaw with my son Bryce and our chocolate lab Odie. We liked living there because it met our needs and was close to my mother. About six months into our marriage, we found out I was pregnant with Evan. At the time I worked as a meter reader for Consumers Energy. After some serious consideration, I quit my job. We both felt that it was too dangerous for a pregnant woman. We also hoped that I could stay at home with our new baby, even though this decision meant we would cut our income in half.
Dave got a better, higher paying job and little baby Evan was born happy and healthy. Life was good. Our house seemed to be getting smaller. Even though we hadn't planned on having more children, God decided otherwise. Only a few months after Evan was born, we found out that we were expecting Ayden. The house continued to get smaller.
Money was tight but we were making due happily. As time went by, I grew more anxious to get back in the work force. I had planned to wait until Ayden was two or three. Everything was progressing, except for Ayden. By the time he was two, people started to subtly suggest that maybe he had autism. My family doctor said that he didn't and I for one was quite happy to live in that denial.
Each month after Ayden's second birthday made it harder and harder to live in that denial. He was a menace (in the most loving sense of the word). He broke all of our window coverings. We couldn't child proof enough for this kid. We had gates, keyed locks for doors, you name it we had it. It seemed we were spending our lives trying to stop him from breaking the next thing. If you let go of his hand outside, he darted straight for the road, never mind the traffic. I was constantly in fear of him getting hit by a car. I was becoming severally depressed.
My doctor gave me antidepressants and finally conceded that maybe something was wrong with Ayden. By this time Ayden was about two and a half years old. The doctor said we should test Ayden's hearing. Although Ayden often appeared deaf, we knew he wasn't because he would coming running out of the bedroom if he heard a favorite cartoon turned on or a candy wrapper crumpling. Just the same we again felt we should take the doctors word for it. It would be two months before the hearing specialist could fit us in. Over the course of those next two months, I started to become very anxious. It was becoming apparent to me finally that Ayden was definitely autistic.
If I hadn't wanted to live in denial, it would have been apparent a year earlier. While we were waiting for the hearing appointment to come we called Project Find to see if we could get a proper diagnosis. He was scheduled to be evaluated in a preschool setting in May 2007. The hearing tests results came in April 2007 and were normal as we expected.
By this time our finances were really getting bad. The economy in Michigan was going down dramatically. Every bill we had was increasing,not to mention the price of gas. The only thing that wasn't going up was our income. It was a tough time for our family.
At the end of May our worries about Ayden were confirmed. He was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. As far as the Autism Spectrum goes, a diagnosis of Autism is the worst you can get. Higher functioning autistic children get a diagnosis of PDD (pervasive developmental disorder) or Aspergers syndrome.
Even though our finances were in shambles (by this time, we were using credit cards for groceries) and things seemed bleak, getting that diagnosis was a relief. We finally knew why Ayden acted the way he did. We knew that his breaking everything in site wasn't because we were bad parents. He had this disorder that was causing him to not comprehend our rules and frustrations. Also, once you get a diagnosis, you can start focusing on what you can do, instead of what you can't.
We didn't have the money for any treatment and the school system couldn't help. They were getting ready for summer break. I can't tell you how frustrating it feels to be told that your son is autistic and we'll see you in the fall! That is crazy. We asked everyone we knew for financial help so that we could get some training on how to work with Ayden.
Our other sons were thriving. It makes it so difficult to understand, when you have two other children that are so extremely advanced. I have been told by other parents that it is very common for autistic children to have siblings and parents that are extremely intelligent. I guess that should be a compliment for us all, but it sure doesn't soothe the soul.
We began working with Ayden, but we never could quite get our program off the ground. As a mom, you feel so guilt ridden when you know that not everything that could be done, is being done.
Our finances continued to deteriorate despite the fact that everyone had helped us pay for the stuff we needed for Ayden. We filed bankruptcy toward the end of 2007. Aside from the financial issues, our house was worth about $20,000 less than when we bought it. We needed some space. So we moved.
Also near the end of 2007 we made another huge decision. We realized that we needed to seriously increase our income. With Ayden being severely autistic, there was no way I could go back to work. I needed Dave's help more and more too. We decided to take a huge risk and start our own business in the hopes that we could increase our income.
CFocus opened in November of 2007. It has been an exciting adventure. We are not exactly rolling in the dough, but we have had a slow but steady increase in business over this past year. We are hoping by our second year we will be making more than Dave was before. Hopefully finances will increase every year from here on out.
Evan is in kindergarten. He really likes it and is thriving. Bryce is doing great in Middle School. We fought to get Ayden into a better school to meet his needs. I have also started back at school. I have a degree in Business Management, but am taking classes to learn more about Psychology so that I can better work with Ayden. I hope to someday be able to help other children through ABA Therapy.
Now you know the candid details of our family. Everyone goes through tough times. I am thankful that we have each other, and the hope of brighter days to come.
For updates on our family story visit Ayden's progress page or contact us.
